Dear Friend,

College has a funny way of convincing us that belonging is something we have to earn. We start wondering what version of ourselves people will like most. We laugh a little louder at jokes that aren't funny, say "yes" when we really want to say "no," and slowly begin shaping ourselves into someone we think others will accept. Somewhere between orientation week, late-night conversations, and trying to find our place, it's easy to lose sight of the person God created us to be.

But here's the beautiful truth: the friendships God has for you should never require you to sacrifice your identity.

If I'm being honest, this is something I've had to learn myself.

Be You!

I've always struggled with people-pleasing. For the longest time, I felt like I needed to be the brightest person in the room, the loudest voice in the conversation, or the one everyone noticed. Looking back, I was like a disco ball. Constantly trying to catch someone's attention, hoping that if enough people looked my way, I'd finally feel enough.

It wasn't until recently that God gently reminded me that what everyone else thinks about me doesn't define me. I am who He says I am. I am a daughter of the King. My identity isn't found in people's approval, it's found in Christ.

One of the blessings of attending a Christ-centered university is being surrounded by people who encourage my faith. Even so, there are still moments when I feel out of place. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not "spiritual enough," or if I don't know enough Scripture. Other times I feel too "worldly" or like I don't fit into the mold I think everyone expects.

But those thoughts don't come from God.

Comparison has a way of making us question the identity God has already given us.

That's why I love what Psalm 139 says:

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14

Before anyone knew your name, God did. Before you ever tried to fit in, He had already chosen you. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. Not by accident, not as an afterthought, but intentionally and lovingly by the Creator.

How beautiful is that reassurance?

This week, I want to challenge you: write this verse somewhere you'll see it every day. Make it your phone wallpaper. Put it on a sticky note above your desk. Pray it over yourself until you begin believing it.

Know What Is True!

Knowing God's truth helps you know who you truly are. When your identity is rooted in Him, you're able to discern the kinds of people you should surround yourself with.

And hey, let's be honest. Not everyone is going to be your cup of tea, and you might not be theirs. That's completely normal. You can still be kind. You can still be respectful. You can still pray for those people. But I encourage you to intentionally seek out a community that makes you feel seen, loved, known, and challenged to become more like Christ. True friends don't disappear when life gets messy. True friends will pick you up when you're at your lowest. True friends will pray over you after you've had a hard week. True friends will love you when you disagree, when you mess up, and when you're at your most vulnerable. So don't just look for those kinds of friends...Become one.

God created us for community. That's biblical.

"So in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others." Romans 12:5

But something I learned during my freshman year is that community doesn't usually come knocking on your dorm room door. You have to leave your room. You have to go to campus events. You have to try and join a small group. Visit a local church!! (NOT church online... church online is for folks who are either 1. Sick or 2. Traveling lol ) You have to introduce yourself. Try reaching out to someone in your class. Send the Instagram DM.

Sometimes the friendships you've been praying for begin with one act of courage!!!

My People!

That's exactly how I met my now best friend (and future bridesmaid) Madalyn.

She messaged me on Instagram before college started because she was also going to SEU. We snapped every day leading up to move-in. Then one night on campus, we sat outside Bush Chapel where I shared my Uncrustables and Capri Suns, and we talked for three or four hours. She felt like home. Same humor, similar testimonies, the same love for Jesus. She was me! (Just from Alabama... and Caucasian.) Since then, she's walked with me through some of my hardest moments. We've laughed until we cried, prayed for one another, celebrated victories, and carried each other through difficult seasons. She wasn't just a coincidence! She was an answered prayer!

I met my sweet friend Gracie through my boyfriend's track and cross-country team. And do you know how I met my boyfriend? During my very first week of college, I grabbed my camera and walked around campus interviewing random people just to start conversations. One small "yes" led to another. Eventually I met Gracie at a pool party. She was sitting by herself, so I swam over and introduced myself. That one conversation grew into one of my favorite friendships. We are now rooming together this upcoming school year. Safe to say she'll probably be standing beside me one day as one of my bridesmaids. Looking back, I can see God's fingerprints all over those friendships.

Someone Is Praying for You!

Maybe you're reading this, and you're still waiting. Waiting for your people, waiting for the friendships you've been praying for, waiting for the community everyone else seems to have already found.

Can I encourage you?

Keep showing up, keep introducing yourself, keep saying yes to opportunities, keep praying, keep trusting God. Because the same God who created you intentionally also knows exactly who belongs in your life. There is someone out there who is praying for a friend like you, too.

Stay faithful. Stay steadfast.

And when God answers those prayers, don't forget to thank Him! And don't forget to tell your people how grateful you are for them.

Proverbs 27:17 reminds us,

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

Friendship isn't about finding people who make you more popular. It's about finding people who make you look more like Jesus.